Who Made Me the Judge?

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A few weeks ago my 5 year old started swim lessons at the Y. As he headed off with his instructor, I watched a gaggle of new moms and their babies head for the pool for the “mommy and me swim lessons.” I remember doing the same with my sons. Even though I knew he wasn’t truly learning to swim, it was something to do to alleviate those endless hours at home. I soon noticed that the women were grouped according to looks: the cute, skinny, young moms in one group; the chubby, older moms in another group; and the average but smart looking moms in a third. I listened to their conversations, which all centered around nap times and eating solids. They weren’t asking one another for advice; just sort of doing that “this is what I do” game. You know it; it’s the game where you talk about something you’re doing because you think you’re doing a great job at it, but underneath you’re really insecure and just want validation in the form of another person’s praise. It’s something we parents start the moment our children are born and it never ends. In the beginning it’s about sleep and breast-feeding; later it morphs to topics like screen-time limitations and eating habits. We speak up when we think we’re doing … Read More

Book Release Day – Getting Ready for the Haters.

Kim Kinzieour book4 Comments

Today we released our book into the world. I realize saying “the world” is a bit optimistic (and possibly unrealistic), but the fact is this: everyone who reads our book will now know the grit; the details of our darkest, ugliest parenting moments. It was one thing to admit them to one another and a small group of friends. Putting them out there to be criticized by strangers is a whole different ball of wax. Friends who’ve read the book have said, “I hope you have thick skin. You’re going to get bashed.” I know this, and have always known it. I’ve even lied to them (and myself) by saying, “I can take it.”   But the truth is – I can’t. At 47 I’m quite confident about myself and happy with the person I’ve become. I won’t change my basic personality at this point and I feel my stories reflect that personality, to a tee. So if people reject and dislike my stories, essentially they’re rejecting and disliking the core of my being. Do I care? Hell yeah! I don’t care the way I did about wearing Levis over Toughskins in sixth grade, but I am feeling prickly at the thought of being on the receiving end of harsh criticism and name-calling. I know it’s inevitable. In researching this book, I read hundreds, … Read More