There’s Nothing Better Than Being a Middle-Aged Woman. So there.

Kim Kinzieaging, older parents, the '70sLeave a Comment

This is the third, and final installment, on my series on aging. About ten years ago, a friend forwarded to me a NY Times article with the subject line: “isn’t this great?” The article talked about the fact that today’s 30 and 40 somethings no longer relegate themselves to being boring suburbanites who get thick in the middle and wear frumpy clothes. These new age middle-agers are hip and cool, and, unlike their 20 something counterparts, have the money to sustain the lifestyle, able to afford those trendy $400 jeans and tickets to the small venue Def Cab for Cutie show.   Coolness lives on, despite ones age. (Looking back, I believe this article was foreshadowing the hipster movement). For my friend who felt that aging and being uncool were synonymous, this article was like a beacon of hope. For me, however, this was my worst nightmare, as my favorite thing about aging is the fact that, each year I care less and less about other’s perceptions of me.   I’m not cool – never have been – and I thought I could finally stop pretending. Damn you New York Times! The pretense began for me at a painfully young age; 1977 to be exact, when everyone in school loved the band “Kiss.” I couldn’t name any song they sang and was … Read More

The “I Wish I Was Invisible” Woman

Kim Kinzieaging, humor, older parents6 Comments

This is the second in a three-part series on aging and motherhood. It all started the day my first son was born. I felt the urge to pee so I stood up to walk to the bathroom. Upon my foot hitting the floor, my bladder released – completely – as I had absolutely no control.   Since no one told me this could happen, I felt no remorse at the large puddle of urine the nurse came in to clean up (a warning would have been nice!) I truly hoped this would not be my new normal. My body has fortunately bounced back in many ways since that day, but the former steel-like control I held over my bladder is gone, and it’ s not coming back. Why just the other day I took my boys to an indoor bounce place.   The urge came upon me, so I made my way to the ladies’ room. Midway I had to sneeze but, since it was the Friday of April vacation, I was slightly exhausted and spacey so I forgot to stop and close my legs. Achoo goes the nose; Swooosh goes the urethra.  Ugh. Time to go, kids! I constantly wet myself. Any cough, sneeze or extreme laughter unaccompanied by a hearty leg cross will result in, at the very least, a large … Read More

Tag- You’re It!

Dawn Michaelour bookLeave a Comment

Three years of hard work and it was finally here-our first book signing!  Longing to present my best self, I went to the mall two days before the event to scout a new outfit.  I didn’t have much time, so my mission had to be quick.  I checked out the fabulous tendy jeans, complete with shredded rips up and down the legs.  The sizes confused me- they were all European.  Just as a salesperson asked if I needed some help, I noticed the price tag- $239!  My measly budget of $50 didn’t come close.  Dejected, I headed off to accessories.  Surely I could afford something to update my look.  I spotted a fun, tie-dye blue headband – perfect for our book’s 1970’s theme!  I hit the cosmetic department last and overspent on a fabulous orange lipstick called, “Mischa.”  I was ready! The day of the book signing, I was able to leisurely shower, dress, and primp.  I even applied clear nail polish to my chewed fingernails.  I met Kim for lunch, where we indulged in a glass of wine and teeth friendly food (no spinach).  We reviewed what excerpts we’d read and how we’d sign our name -cursive writing with a whimsical comment.  We were prepared. Slightly anxious, we got to Symposium Books in plenty of time for the reading. … Read More